My Father and Me
by NettieC
Summary: Harm spent most of his life searching for the truth about his father but when his stepfather dies suddenly he comes to realise the true nature of a father.  Read and Review please.
1. Chapter 1

**My Father and Me**

**By Nettie**

Dedicated to all the fathers we love and those we have lost

Especially Andy, Sidney's Dad.

**DC Bound Flight  
Monday 1212**

Mac looked at her watch, though it was unnecessary, and sighed. It would still be four hours until she touched down in DC and she couldn't wait to get home. It had been two long, arduous months since she last soaked in her own tub and slept in her own bed, two gruelling months since she had last spent time with her friends and Chloe and two demanding months since she had set eyes on Harm. Not that she hadn't seen him every night in her dreams, she had, but this time he'd actually be in the same room, not a thousand miles away.

Their relationship hadn't moved from the 'somewhere between friends and lovers' it had been for much of the last few years but coming home Mac felt hopeful. They had exchanged emails frequently during her absence and except for the last few most were friendly and reflected the spontaneity and good humour of their relationship.

She looked at her watch again, only three minutes had elapsed since she last checked it. Harm wasn't expecting her, her return home was four days ahead of schedule and Mac's plan was to report in at HQ, run some errands, soak in her tub and call him.

**JAG HQ  
1856**

Taking longer to get back than she had anticipated due to a car accident out of the freeway, Mac's mood was not improved when Petty Officer Coates informed her the General had stepped out and wanted Mac to await his return.

Mac spent the hour catching up on phone messages and emails, and when the General returned at 2000, she was more than ready to go home.

"Welcome home, Colonel," General Cresswell said, ushering her into his office.

"Thank you, sir," Mac replied, taking the seat he offered.

"I bet you'll be glad to get home," he said, leaning on the front of his desk.

"Yes, when I get there," she said with half a smile, hoping he'd get the point.

"Look Mac, sorry I had to keep you and this isn't how I'd planned to welcome you back but …" He paused and Mac took a deep breath, she didn't like the way this was panning out. "But I've had to change your Recreation Leave. Now I know you had planned to take the next three weeks and I understand you are entitled to it but things here have changed as of today. Now, I can give you this week off as we still have your replacement here but I need you here for the next few weeks. I have rescheduled your leave for the end of the month. I hope this doesn't cause you too much inconvenience."

"No sir, I'll manage," Mac said, more concerned about 'the changes' he'd alluded too. "Sir, may I ask what happened today?"

The General took the seat beside her. "I'm afraid Commander Rabb is on leave until further notice, could be a week, could be a month, we don't know yet."

"Sir, what happened?" asked Mac, concerned.

"I don't know the details, Mac, just that he needs to go home for awhile. I think it's got something to do with his step-father."

"Oh," said Mac, relieved there wasn't something wrong with Harm himself.

Mac returned to her office to collect her things when the phone rang, catching her off guard.

"MacKenzie."

"Oh Sarah, I'm so glad I got you. I tried your cell and the number at your TAD office but they said you had returned home and I tried there and this was my last hope." Mac knew the voice instantly.

"Hi Trish, you've got me now, what's happened?" Mac asked, before holding her breath.

"Oh, Sarah…" Trish's voice faltered.

"Trish, what happened?" Mac asked again, her heart beginning to race.

"It's Frank," she replied, weakly.

"Is he sick?" Mac asked.

"No, no. He, um, he…" Trish's voice faltered.

"Did he have an accident?" Mac asked.

"No dear, Frank died this morning." Trish finally said.

"Oh, no, Trish, I am so sorry," Mac said, tears springing from her eyes.

"So am I, Sarah, so am I." The tears could be heard in Trish's voice.

"What happened?"

"He had a cardiac arrest on Saturday night and it was serious but they were hopeful and he was recovering but then he had another one this morning …and ….they couldn't revive him." Trish gulped.

"Oh Trish, I am so sorry," Mac said again.

"I need your help, Sarah," she said, stilling sobbing quietly.

"Anything," Mac replied, she loved Trish and Frank as if they were her own parents.

"It's Harm."

**Harm's Apartment  
2136**

Mac arrived to a darkened apartment and let herself in. She had tried to ring Harm on his home and then cell phone but it had been to no avail. Finally she rang Bud and found out he had been searching for him as well and had located him at Benzinger's, a little worse for wear. Bud was bringing him home and Mac was going to wait for them.

When she heard a rattling at the door, Mac opened it.

"Hi Mac," said Bud, one arm around Harm's waist. "Welcome home."

"Some welcome, hey? Let me help you," she said, taking Harm's arm. He stumbled forward into her arms. She held him and steadied him. "Hi Flyboy," she said.

Harm just stared at her and then broke her grip and went to his bedroom. He lay diagonally across the bed, making no attempt to undress.

"He's not doing too well, Bud," Mac said from his doorway watching him.

"No, I'm not sure of the details but I think he had a disagreement with Frank sometime Saturday and then this. I think his feeling very guilty." Bud explained in sombre tones.

"He said that?" Mac asked, turning to look at Bud.

"Not in as many words but he said a few things and then he fell asleep in the car on the way back. He hasn't said anything since though."

Bud and Mac went into the kitchen and Mac put the kettle on. They were sitting at the bench when Harm came back into the room. Looking dishevelled and disorientated.

"Harm, what's wrong?" Mac asked walking to him. He didn't answer. "Harm?" she said again, putting her hand to his face. He grabbed her hand and twisted it, seemingly oblivious to her requests to stop and shouts of pain. It was Bud who managed to detach his hand and Harm turned and went back to bed.

Bud searched the freezer for some ice and, after making a compress, handed it to Mac.

"It's not that bad, Bud, honestly," she said lying, in truth her wrist hurt like hell. But to please Bud she kept the compress on for a few minutes.

"Look Bud, you go home. I'll be alright here with Harm." Mac offered.

"After that little performance I don't think so, I'll ring Harriet and let her know where I am." Bud stood and moved to the phone.

"Bud, really…" Mac's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Bud opened it.

"Sturgis, hi," said Bud surprised at their visitor. "Come in."

"Hi guys, I heard about Harm's step-father, thought I'd call by and offer my condolences. How's he doing?"

"Not too good," Mac replied. "Can I get you a drink? Coffee?"

"Yeah, thanks Mac."

Mac made her way to the kitchen, made the coffee and had taken two steps before her wrist screamed in pain and she dropped the cup, causing it to shatter.

"Mac, are you alright?" Sturgis asked jumping up from the sofa.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little clumsy," she replied.

"Mac how's your wrist?" Bud asked walking over to her.

"It's fine," Mac responded with a serious tone, she didn't wish to be pushed on this topic.

"What's wrong with your wrist?" Sturgis asked.

"Nothing," began Mac but Bud finished her sentence and told Sturgis the truth.

"Alright, we'll deal with Harm and his actions when he is in a more coherent state of mind. Meanwhile, I'll stay here and make plans for him to get to San Diego tomorrow, Bud, can you take Mac to Bethesda for x-rays?"

"Certainly can," Bud said moving do the door.

"Look Bud, Sturgis, I appreciate your concern but it's not that bad," Mac protested.

"Squeeze my hand Mac," Sturgis said hand outstretched. Mac tried but there was little power in her hand, and despite her efforts to disguise it, the pain showed on her face.

"Alright, I'll go," Mac conceded realising her wrist was worse than she thought. "But, if he wakes up, don't tell him about it. It's the least of his worries."

"Deal," said Sturgis.

"And while you're making plans for him, can you get me on that flight with him? I told Trish I'd be there." Mac asked.

"Certainly Mac," replied Sturgis.

"Bud, can we call past my place after the hospital so I can pick up a few things?" She asked Bud.

"Yeah, definitely," he replied, after all this is what families did in crisis, they stuck together.

**Mac's Apartment  
Tuesday 0107**

"Here, I'll take your bags," offered Bud as Mac juggled her handbag and keys.

"I'm not totally useless, Bud," said Mac agitated, it had been an extraordinarily long day.

"I know, I know, Mac," Bud soothed, picking up her bags anyway. Mac locked her door and dropped her keys.

"Damn," she muttered, her arm began to throb. "I think this brace is too tight."

"Do you want to go back to Bethesda?" Bud asked, concern etched on his face.

"No, it'll be fine. I'll take some painkillers when I get back to Harm's." Mac sighed, she just wanted to be back with him.

"What are you going to tell him about your wrist?" Bud asked, guiding her down the stairs.

"Nothing!" Mac said, and kept walking.

"Mac, he broke your wrist," Bud said, stating the obvious.

"It's not a break, it's a minor fracture," Mac corrected.

"Mac, a fracture is a break," Bud clarified carefully.

"Well, this is a crack. Not too serious, four weeks in this and it'll be fine." She shook her head, she'd had more than enough of this conversation.

"Mac…"

"Mac, nothing, topic closed."

------------------/-------------------------/---------------------------/----------------------------/------------------------/-------

**_This is another oldie being polished up for posting here. Hope you enjoy. _**


	2. Chapter 2

Dedicated to all the fathers we love and those we have lost

Especially Andy, Sidney's Dad.

**Author's Notes: They're not mine…but the storyline is.**

**Harm's Apartment  
0210**

Bud and Mac arrived back at Harm's apartment and were greeted by Sturgis making the final arrangements for their flight.

"Yes," Sturgis said, "okay thanks for your help." He hung up. "Departure's at 0855, direct flight."

"Has he woken up at all?" Bud asked.

"No, I've checked on him a few times but he's out to it," Sturgis replied, looking towards the bedroom.

"That might be for the best," Mac said yawning. "Look, I know I said this before but I'm alright to stay here by myself, really."

Bud and Sturgis exchanged glances; they knew the next dialogue would have to be handled carefully. "Mac, here's how I see it," Sturgis started. "Harm is not himself tonight and with good reason, you now have a broken wrist and if things got out of hand again you'd not be in the best position to handle things. So, I suggest the following, Bud goes home to Harriet and you and I stay here. I'm taking you to the airport in the morning so there's no point, at this late hour, driving home and back again."

Mac looked from one to the other, she knew Sturgis wouldn't be going anywhere so she quickly gave up and Bud departed.

"Mac, Mac," Sturgis called, waking her from what seemed the shortest sleep ever.

"What?" she murmured trying to sit up in the bed without resting on her injured wrist or waking Harm.

"Time to get moving, it's 0600," he said quietly.

"Already?" Mac asked blinking.

"Yeah, how'd he go last night?" Sturgis looked down at their still sleeping friend.

"He was unsettled at the start but either he settled or I fell into a deep sleep because I don't recall anything else." Mac yawned again.

"Those painkillers probably helped," said Sturgis.

"Yeah, it's a shame they won't help him." Gently she reached over and patted his arm. "Harm, Harm, time to wake up."

Slowly Harm opened his eyes and was confused to see Mac and Sturgis there with him. True, Mac was often part of his night time fantasies but Sturgis was never there.

"Harm, you okay buddy?" Sturgis asked, seeing the confusion in his eyes.

He shook his head trying to find clarity. "What are you two doing here?"

"That's a fine good morning," replied Sturgis, sitting on the end of the bed.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that Mac, you're supposed to be TAD until the end of the week." He stared at her, she definitely wasn't supposed to be in his bed on a Tuesday morning.

"I was relieved early and got back yesterday," Mac explained quietly.

"And Sturgis, I said goodbye to you at the office." Harm said, looking at his friend.

"I came over late last night." Sturgis explained.

"I don't remember that. Did you come over with him, Mac?" Harm asked, completely confused by events.

"No, I was here when you got home with Bud," Mac said, taking his hand.

Harm sat up and looked from one to the other he had no recollection of any of it.

"I know I had a few drinks last night but not that many. I remember Bud coming into Benzinger's and talking to him. I remember getting into his car and we were talking and I guess I drifted off and…"

"And what else do you remember?" asked Sturgis.

"Waking up and seeing you two," Harm shook his head, clarity would not come.

"You were probably exhausted, Harm," Mac offered, stroking his arm.

"Yeah, maybe," he replied unconvinced.

"Harm, deepest sympathy on the loss of your step-father," said Sturgis patting his arm and bringing them all back to the purpose for wake up call.

"Thanks Sturgis," Harm replied, Frank's death he remembered all to well.

"And from me too, Harm, he was a great man," Mac said giving him a quick hug.

"Yeah, he was."

"Now, we need to be on the road within forty minutes, so which one of you is taking the first shower?" Sturgis asked.

"You go, Harm, there's a few things I need to do first," Mac said.

"Why? Where are we going?" asked Harm, confusion kicking in again.

"I'm taking you and Mac to the airport for your 0855 flight to San Diego," explained Sturgis.

"You organised this?" Harm said turning to Mac.

"Sturgis did."

"But you're coming with me?" He asked, but it was more of a silent prayer.

"Yes I am, your mom rang me yesterday and I promised her I would come with you." Mac said, patting his arm.

Harm nodded slowly, he wanted her with him but he was still unsure as to whether he wanted to go himself.

"Harm, we need to get moving," Mac prompted. "Go take a shower, Sturgis has packed a bag for you, you can check it when you get out."

Harm got out of bed and headed for the shower, he no longer felt in control of the situation. He was moving in a fog and people were telling him what to do and when to do it. Not that he really minded, as at this stage, he had little capacity to think for himself.

When the water started running, Sturgis turned to Mac. "What things do you need to do?" he asked.

Mac looked down at her wrist. "Take some painkillers first. The doctor said I can take the brace off in the shower but to take it easy."

"Are you going to tell him?" Sturgis asked, maintaining eye contact with her.

"I honestly don't know. I think he has enough on his plate. He obviously wasn't aware of doing it, he has no recollection of much of last night, I don't think knowing will make things any easier," Mac said quietly.

Sturgis sighed, what she said made sense. "I'll get you some water."

**Airport  
0735**

Sturgis carried Mac's bags into the terminal, showed his credit card to verify the booking and when Harm went to the bathroom made Mac promise to take care of herself. They had already had words, albeit quiet ones, in the apartment when Sturgis realised Mac hadn't put her brace back on after her shower. She hadn't wanted Harm to see it but Sturgis told her that if she didn't put it back on immediately he would tell Harm there and then. With no alternative, Mac put it back on and changed into a long sleeved t-shirt and Harm was none the wiser. By the time Harm returned Sturgis was ready to go.

"Okay, unless there's anything else you need, I'm heading home to shower and change before I go into to work," Sturgis said.

"No, we're fine. Thanks for everything Sturgis," Mac said hugging him; she knew he was acting in her best interests.

"Yeah, thanks for being there and for organising this, I really appreciate it," Harm said, taking his turn to hug him.

"Ring if you need anything." Sturgis called as he walked away.

"Thanks, bye." And then there was just the two of them.

Not long into the flight, Mac rested her head on Harm's shoulder and she instantly felt his arm surround her and draw her closer, she smiled involuntarily. She looked up and spoke quietly.

"Hi Harm." It had been a long two months since they had been this close.

"Hi yourself," he replied.

"How are you doing?" she asked, watching as his beautiful blue eyes clouded over.

"I honestly don't know," he answered, closing his eyes so she wouldn't see his pain.

"What happened with Frank this weekend?" Mac asked, hooking her arm across his waist.

"He died," Harm said simply.

"That was yesterday. What happened between you and him on Saturday?" Mac asked, trying to understand him. Harm shook his head, he didn't even want to think about it let alone talk about it.

"Harm?" Tears filled his eyes. She moved closer to him and held him as tight as she could.

"It's my fault," he said in barely a whisper. "He rang on Saturday and we had words and I hung up and then, and then, mom called me an hour later and I thought she was going to lecture me but she said that Frank had had a cardiac arrest. I told her I'd come out but she said Frank had said no, that it wasn't worth the effort."

"Can I ask what you had words over?" Mac asked, drawing his face towards her.

"He wanted to redo his will and leave less to me and more to the Red Cross and I said that it was fine with me and he was entitled to do what he wanted with his money. He thought I was being ungrateful and the more I tried to prove I wasn't the worse it got. In the end I told him he could keep all his money and that would solve all the problems, he said he thought I gotten over being a selfish SOB as a teenager and that just because I never considered him to be my father didn't mean that he wasn't allowed to consider me his son. Then he hung up and …" Harm gulped in some air.

"And had the cardiac arrest. Wow! Some pretty strong words there." Mac said.

"I wasn't meaning to sound ungrateful but it is, was, his money. He worked hard for it and who am I to say who he should leave it too." He said, staring at her earnestly hoping he was right.

"Harm," Mac spoke quietly. "Frank probably just wanted to let you know that even though he was changing his will, he didn't love you any less, you were still his son."

And it was those words which caused the tears to spill over. Mac drew his head towards her and held him tightly, she spoke soothing words and caressed his face and soon the tears stopped but his feelings of guilt and sorrow were fresh and they were raw.


	3. Chapter 3

Dedicated to all the fathers we love and those we have lost

Especially Andy, Sidney's Dad.

**Author's Notes: They're not mine…but the storyline is.  
Thanks for the great reviews – much appreciated.**

**Burnett Residence  
1245**

Trish came out to meet the taxi, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Sarah, thank you for coming, I'm so glad you made it," she said embracing the woman whom she hoped one day would be her daughter-in-law.

Harm paid the driver and moved around the vehicle to his mother. "I'm so sorry, mom," he said holding her closely, his tears running freely.

"So am I, Harm, so am I." She pulled back, brushed away his tears and picked up Mac's bag. "Now, come into the house."

"I can take that," Mac said reaching for the bag.

"I'll take it," Trish said firmly and Mac didn't argue.

She dropped the bag at the foot of the stairs next to Harm's and took the pair into the kitchen. "Sit, sit," she instructed. "I have plenty of food and it's a long time since you two have eaten."

"Really mom, I'm not hungry," said Harm, leaning against the counter.

"Did you eat on the plane?" she asked, glancing at her son.

"No," he replied honestly.

"Then you will eat, sit!" Trish served up the chicken and salad she had prepared earlier and then placed the bread rolls in a basket. When she had set the glasses and a pitcher of water on the table, she sat down and as she did, the phone rang.

"It's alright, I'll get it, mom," said Harm getting up from the table and moving into the living room to answer it.

As soon as he was out of the room Trish moved around the table to Mac. She pulled up Mac's left sleeve.

"Where's your brace, dear?" she asked.

"What brace?" Mac asked.

"The one you are supposed to have on your broken left wrist?" Trish spoke quietly and deliberately.

"How did you know?" Mac looked up at the older woman somewhat confused.

"It doesn't matter." She replied. "Where is it and why aren't you wearing it?"

"It's not really broken and I didn't want Harm to see it," Mac explained quietly, watching for signs of Harm's return.

"Sarah MacKenzie, as much as you want to deny it, your wrist is broken. There is a crack through two bones and you need to wear the brace. It doesn't matter who sees it and who knows, now put it on." Mac conceded she knew Trish was right. "Why is it so important that Harm doesn't know?"

"He has enough to worry about." Mac said. Trish didn't buy the answer but as Harm had concluded the phone call she didn't push it.

"Finished lunch already?" Harm asked moving past Mac in the doorway.

"No, just washing up," Mac lied. She grabbed her bag and made her way upstairs and to the bathroom. When her brace was back on, the throbbing eased almost immediately. She knew she had been stupid for leaving it off. She opened the bathroom door and heard Trish call to her.

"Sarah, the guestroom's ready for you, you can leave your bag in there."

"Okay," she yelled back.

Mac opened the door to the guestroom and looked at the beautiful floral room before her. It was picture perfect and could be part of any exclusive B&B. Quietly she closed the door and crossed the hall, opening another bedroom door. It wasn't pretty, there wasn't a flower to be seen but it was Harm's room and if he had no objections, this is where she wanted to stay.

Back in the kitchen, brace on and concealed beneath her sleeve, Mac sat down at the table.

"Everything alright, dear?" Trish asked filling her plate.

"Everything's fine, thanks Trish." Mac smiled, it was nice to have someone who cared so much for her.

Lunch was a rather sombre affair, Trish was making herself busy with inconsequential things, Harm had no idea as to what he should say to his mother and Mac didn't know how to bridge the gap.

When the lunch things were cleared away, Harm took his bags upstairs. Mac waited for his reaction. Trish got up and excused herself, she was going next door to speak to Ron Taylor about something. Mac ventured up the stairs and found Harm sitting on his bed.

"Hi Flyboy," she said, gently rapping on his door.

"Hey Mac," he tried a smile but couldn't manage it.

"How are you doing?" she asked, leaning back on the door frame.

"Oh, you know, had better days," he replied, staring at the carpet.

"I bet you have," Mac said quietly.

"You know the guestroom is across the hall, don't you?" Harm said, looking up at her.

"Yeah, lovely room it is too." Mac smiled.

"Then why are your bags here?" he asked, confusion clouding his blue eyes.

"Because I want to stay with you, if that's alright? I mean I can go across the hall, I just…" Mac was suddenly nervous she'd overstepped the ever moving invisible line between them.

"It's more than fine with me." He opened his arms and she moved to him, holding him tightly. It was the best news he'd had in a long time. "I am so glad your home," he whispered.

Mac smiled at the irony, she had spent Monday trying to get home to DC only to find herself, on Tuesday, feeling truly at home, in San Diego.

"You're so tired Harm, why don't you lay down and rest a while, it's going to be a difficult few days." Mac suggested, looking into his tired face.

"Are you going to join me?" he asked, a slight smile on his face.

"Yeah soon, I want to talk to you mom first," Mac replied.

Harm nodded, he wanted to talk to his mom too but he just could find the words. At least when he had lost his father he was MIA and wasn't truly gone, it was a different feeling to the loss he was experiencing now. Even when he had learnt his father's fate it felt different to this, by that time Harmon Rabb Senior was an image he had built up over the years, most true memories had been erased by time. This time, Frank Burnett, the man who had shared his mother's life and therefore his for thirty years, had gone and the grief was so much more than he had ever anticipated.

Mac was in the study flipping through an old family album when Trish returned. "Sorry Trish, I saw them and I couldn't resist."

"Don't apologise, Sarah, I don't mind. Where's Harm?" Trish asked, coming to sit beside her on the sofa.

"Resting," Mac answered, closing the album.

"And are you going to have a rest too? You've had a big 24 hours." Trish asked, patting Mac's arm.

"Yeah I'll go up in a minute. Look, Trish, do you have any problems with me sharing a room with Harm?" Mac asked with nervous little butterflies in her stomach.

"Something wrong with the guestroom, dear?" Trish asked, concerned.

"No, it's beautiful. It's just I'm worried about Harm and I think it would be better to be with him," Mac said quietly.

"Why are you so worried about him?" Trish said, taking Mac's hand and holding tight.

Mac wasn't sure which tack to take. She didn't want to distress his mother but wanted to be honest. "It's just that Harm wasn't himself last night and he doesn't recall any of it."

"Has this got something to do with this?" Trish asked, gently tapping the brace.

"Yes," Mac answered truthfully.

"What happened?"

To her surprise Mac told Trish the plain and simple details of the night before.

"He broke your wrist?" Trish asked to clarify matters.

"Yes, but he didn't mean it." Mac protested.

"But he broke it and he doesn't know?" Trish said.

"I don't see the point in telling him. If he asks I just say I fell or tripped or something," Mac replied, determined to protect Harm from any more pain.

"No, if he asks you tell him the truth, he's entitled to that much," Trish said pointedly.

"Ok, only if he asks," Mac conceded.

"So, if he broke your wrist, why do you want to share a room with him, wouldn't it be better for you to be across the hall?" Trish questioned.

"It might be better for me but if he's not aware of what he's doing, I don't want him to hurt himself," Mac said, looking at his mother.

"Okay," Trish finally consented. "But if you have any problems, you just call me."

Mac went upstairs, changed into her sweats and crawled into bed alongside Harm, sleep came quickly.

A few hours later, Mac woke up to find Harm in her arms and Trish sitting on the bed.

"Sarah, I didn't want to wake you but it is getting late and I need to go to the funeral home. I'd like you both to come, if that's alright?" Trish said and Mac nodded.

Harm muttered something neither of them caught and then sat up in bed, staring at nothing, not speaking.

"Harm, are you alright?" Mac asked kneeling beside him. He didn't respond. She moved around in front of him, so he could see her. "Harm? Harm?" she patted his cheek. "This is how he was last night, Trish, except he walked out into the kitchen."

"He's asleep, Sarah," Trish explained.

"No, Harm doesn't sleepwalk. I mean he's never mentioned it and we've been on the road together enough times," Mac said, staring into Harm's vacant eyes.

"He did it for about six months when his father went MIA. I took him to a child psychologist and he said it was probably his way of searching for the answers," Trish said.

"But he didn't find the answers. Why'd he stop?" Mac asked, quickly glancing at her.

"I don't know dear, I was only thankful that he did," Trish sighed.

"I guess it explains last night. He fell asleep in Bud's car and has no other recollection, he was obviously asleep through all this," Mac said lifting her arm.

"He probably was," Trish conceded.

"What happens now? Do we leave him? Wake him?" Mac asked.

"I used to put him back into his bed and talk to him and hold him and kiss him and he'd drift back off to sleep." Trish explained.

"Do you want to try it?" Mac asked, moving away from Harm.

"I think I'll leave it for you to do," Trish smiled and got up. "But after you've gotten him to sleep, give him about half an hour and wake him up. We do need to be gone by six."

Mac moved closer to him and put her arms around his neck.

"Harm, you need to lie down," she said quietly. He stared at Mac but she knew he couldn't see her. He didn't move. She sat beside him again and gently pulled him down with her. He was resting across her body, his head lay on her chest. She placed her injured arm on his shoulder and with her good hand caressed his face. She whispered many words of comfort, kissed him and consoled him and he remained tense and distant throughout. Eventually, Mac felt his body relax and she knew he was asleep again. She continued to hold and comfort him until the time ticked by and she knew she'd have to wake him.

"Harm," Mac whispered, stroking his head. "Time to wake up."

Slowly his eyes fluttered open. "Hey Mac, I'm sorry, I must be squashing you," he said pulling away.

"No, no, you're fine but we do need to get up. Your mom wants us to go to the funeral home with her and we need to be out of here soon." Mac explained.

Harm yawned and sat on the side of the bed, there were so many more things he'd rather be doing than going to arrange Frank Burnett's funeral.

**-----------------000----------------------000----------------**

**Harm's experiences with sleepwalking are based on those of a friend who in times of stress would do a range of unusual things. He never hurt anyone else but he did break his own leg – didn't know it til he went to get up in the morning. **


	4. Chapter 4

Dedicated to all the fathers we love and those we have lost

Especially Andy, Sidney's Dad.

**Author's Notes: They're not mine…but the storyline is.  
Thanks for the great reviews – much appreciated.**

**Burnett Residence  
Wednesday 0200**

One episode of sleepwalking, resolved quite quickly through the methods employed earlier in the afternoon, and Mac finally fell into a deep sleep, it didn't last long. As she rolled over in the queen sized bed she realised she was alone.

Mac sat up and rubbed her eyes and searched the room, smiling when she saw Harm sitting in the armchair watching her.

"Why are you over there?" she yawned.

"I didn't want to wake you," Harm said quietly, still watching her intently.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Mac asked concerned.

"When did you do it?" he asked.

"Do what?" Mac countered confused.

"Hurt your arm," he said gesturing towards her arm.

"Oh, this," Mac said, raising her arm. "It's nothing really."

"You're wearing a brace on your arm and you say it's nothing," Harm said, his voice rising.

"I have small fractures in two bones in my wrist. Nothing major," Mac said trying to sound as indifferent as she could.

"You have a broken wrist and you didn't tell me?" Harm's eyes opened wider.

"Well Harm, in the scheme of things in didn't seem important," Mac said swinging her legs over the edge to the bed.

Harm sighed. "How long do you have to have the brace on for?"

"Four weeks," Mac answered looking at her feet; she really didn't want to continue this conversation.

"How long left?" He asked his voice still full of concern.

Mac paused. "Four weeks."

"It only just happened?" Harm asked, making his way to her side of the bed. He sat beside her and picked up the arm in question.

"Yeah," Mac said quietly.

"How?" He stared at the arm and then into her chocolate brown eyes.

"It happened by accident on Monday," Mac explained, taking hold of his hand.

"Flying home?" he asked, desperate to know how she injured herself, frustrated she was giving so little information.

"Umm, no," she replied.

"Where?" he asked. "Mac, where did you break your wrist?"

"Your place," she barely whispered.

"You broke your wrist on Monday at my place?! Mac? How did you break your wrist at my place on Monday?" He was on his feet standing in front of her.

Trish's earlier words came back to her. _Tell him the truth he's entitled to that much. _Mac paused to contemplate the exact words she would use. Her pause spoke volumes.Mac reached for both his hands and held them as tight as could.

"I didn't break it," she finally said in a whisper. "You did!"

"What?! I broke it? How? No, I couldn't have." Harm went to break away and Mac tried to stop him.

"Harm, it was an accident. You were sleepwalking. You didn't know what you were doing," she explained.

Harm shook his head. "No, Mac, I wouldn't have! I couldn't have!" He spoke loudly and pulled away from her, moving clear of the bed.

"Harm, it's okay, really it is. It was an accident," Mac was all but pleading. Harm's face showed the extent of the horror this knowledge had inflicted on him.

A soft rap on the bedroom door surprised them both and Trish came in. "I heard raised voices, I was just checking that everything's alright."

"Everything's fine Trish," Mac said with a reassuring smile.

"No, no it's not," said Harm turning to stare out the window into the darkness.

"Um, Harm just found out about my wrist," Mac said.

"And did you tell him the truth, dear?" Trish asked, looking between the pair.

"Yes, I did," Mac said quietly.

"You knew, mom?" Harm spun around stunned.

"Yes, son," Trish replied quietly.

"Mac, you told her and not me?" Harm asked, turning to face Mac.

"No…yes," she managed.

"Which one was it?" He took on step towards her.

"Sturgis Turner rang me," Trish answered. "And told me Sarah had broken her wrist and to watch out for her. He wouldn't tell me what happened and so I pushed Sarah on the issue when you arrived."

"Sturgis knows?" Harm asked incredulously. "Is that why he was carrying your bags?" Mac nodded.

"How did he find out? Is that why he came over?"

"No, he came by to offer his condolences and Bud told him," Mac answered.

"Bud knows?" Harm's head was spinning; it seemed everybody who meant anything to him knew he had physically hurt the one person he would give his life for.

"Bud was there when it happened," Mac said quietly. "He's the one who got you to let go. He's the one who took me to Bethesda."

"I broke your wrist," Harm said, as he began to accept it as the truth. Mac just nodded.

Harm moved back to the armchair and slumped into it. Mac moved to him. "I know you didn't mean it. I know you would never deliberately hurt me."

"But I did hurt you; I broke your goddamned wrist. God, I'm so sorry, Mac!" He leant forward and dropped his head into his hands.

Mac sat on the arm of his chair and draped her arm across his shoulders – she knew there was very little she could say to ease his pain. So with words in short supply, she bent down and kissed the top of his head. Trish quietly slipped out of the room.

Mac had kissed him three times before he sat up and looked at her.

"I don't get it, Mac. I break your wrist but you willingly share a room with me and now you sit here and kiss me. I obviously don't know what I'm doing; you'd be better staying as far away from me as possible," Harm said, his face a mix of heartbreak and confusion.

Mac reached out and stroked his face. "I am not scared of you Harm, I never have been. I have spent the last two months being a thousand miles away from you and I am not going anywhere. And, I voluntarily chose to share this room with you because I don't want you to be alone."

"But…" Harm began to protest.

"But nothing. I have a broken wrist – end of story," Mac said, drawing his face up and making him look at her.

"But I caused it!" he said, his voice still charge with emotion.

"Yes you did and …?" Mac said, raising her eyebrow.

"And I don't know how to deal it," Harm said quietly.

"I do. I will absolve you from all guilt on one condition," Mac said, standing up in front of him.

"Only one?" Harm asked, a slight smile on his face.

"You want to hear it?" Mac asked.

"Yeah."

"You come back to bed now," she said, holding out her hand and with an offer like that he couldn't refuse.

-----------------------------------.-----------------------------------------.--------------------------------


	5. Chapter 5

Dedicated to all the fathers we love and those we have lost

Especially Andy, Sidney's Dad.

**Author's Notes: They're not mine…but the storyline is.**

**Thanks for the great reviews – much appreciated.**

**Thursday 1135**

Wednesday had been quite uneventful, all things considered, but Thursday turned out to be vastly different. Harm had spent the morning working on the eulogy his mother asked him to deliver in Friday's service and he was getting nowhere. Trish had attempted to give him a letter Frank dictated to a nurse on Sunday but Harm was unwilling to take it and so she left it on the bookcase for him. Mac had offered to help but he declined asking to be left alone. So Trish and Mac left him in the study surrounded by albums and family mementos and went to run errands.

When they returned, a few hours later, crumpled paper lay strewn throughout the study but Harm was nowhere to be found. Trish called out for him but there was no response. Mac went upstairs to check but he was not there.

"Where do you think he is?" asked Mac upon finding Trish in the kitchen. Trish pointed to a forlorn figure sitting on a tree stump towards the bottom of the yard.

"Do you think he needs time to himself?" Mac asked.

"He's had two hours, that's long enough." The doorbell rang. "Sarah, will you go and see to him?"

Mac nodded and ventured out to Harm. As she approached, Harm stood up to return to the house but seeing her nearby he sat back down.

"Hey Harm," she said before she noticed his tear stained cheeks. "Oh Sweetheart," she exclaimed and gathered him in a comforting embrace. She kissed and caressed him as he cried into her chest. Her tears mingled with the light rain that had begun to fall. When Harm's crying subsided she raised his face and brushed away his tears.

"Harm, talk to me."

"I…I was…I was," he started hesitantly, "was working on Frank's eulogy and I was having a lot of trouble. I…I couldn't find the words I wanted to say." Mac brushed away his tears. "Then I picked this up and read it and…and…oh God, Mac," Harm thrust the paper at her and tried very hard to compose himself.

Mac unfolded the paper and to herself read what amounted to the dying words of a man she cared so much about.

_Dear Harm,_

_Let me start my saying your mother and I know this cardiac arrest had nothing to do with you. If you were going to drive me to an early grave it would have been 30 years ago when you were a right pain in the butt._

_I don't want you coming out to see me because I'll be up and firing before you know it. You're coming out next month and we can catch up then. I have had time to think more about our telephone conversation and I want to apologise. I overreacted. You have always been grateful, well, as an adult anyway, and I don't know why I didn't realise it at the time. I'm so sorry._

_Look Harm, I know I don't say it often enough but I do love you. I do consider you to be my son. You and your mother are my family, my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. And, even though you have such a hard time expressing yourself, I know that you love me too, though I would like to hear it every now and then._

_When you're here I think we should go out to Lake Kennelly and catch up. What do you think?_

_I love you son,_

_Frank._

Mac folded the paper and looked at Harm. "See," she said, trying to be brave, "he loved you and he knew you loved him." Harm nodded. "He saw you as a son."

Harm drew several deep breaths. "And I realised looking through those albums that he was my father. As much as I tried to deny it, he was. He sat me down for "the talk", he taught me how to drive and he was there at my graduation. He took me camping and was there at my sporting events, cheering me on but I could never see past the fact he wasn't Harmon Rabb Senior and therefore wasn't my dad. I wasn't going to let anyone take his place."

"I don't think Frank ever wanted to replace your dad. He just wanted to be there for you," Mac said, rubbing her hand up and down his arm.

"But he did replace him." Harm said, the realisation sending daggers through his heart. "I have no true memory of my real dad and thousands of Frank and do you know that not once, never, in the past thirty years did I ever call him dad. It was always Frank or my step – dad. I don't even remember the last time I told him that I loved him."

"I don't think he minded," Mac said waving the paper.

"I do though" Harm drew a deep breath. "I did love him – so very, very much." He pulled Mac to him.

"I know you did, baby, I know and so did he," she soothed.

"But he's gone and it's my fault…had I not argued with him then…" Harm stopped, not wanting to voice his deepest guilt.

Mac took his head between her hands and made him look at her.

"Harm, this is not your fault. This letter says it. Your mom has said it. The doctor said it…" she began emphatically. Harm tried to shake his head but Mac's grip was firm. "Not. Your. Fault."

Harm knew all the words in the world wouldn't make a difference, his last words with Frank had been in anger and the guilt of that alone was overwhelming.

He reached up and took hold of Mac's arms, instantly remembering the reason behind the brace on her wrist. She caught him staring at it.   
"This is not your fault either." He nodded sadly. "Look at me, Harm. I'll say it again, Not. Your. Fault." Once again words made no difference, he was drowning in a sea of guilt and while Mac was his life preserver he didn't feel worthy of her understanding and compassion.

They stood locked in the same half embrace for awhile. Mac searched his eyes looking for the way in to help him.

"Hon, I know you're feeling guilty and I understand that but what else is it?" She moved her hands and placed them on his shoulders, keeping him upright and looking at her. He went to speak but no words came. "Harm, tell me?"

Harm's sobs came in gulps, the pain tangible. "Frank's gone…I never told him I loved him…I'll never get the chance again."

"I know, I know," she kissed and caressed him.

"Oh God, Mac, I've lost Frank, I've lost my dad." And again he sobbed into her chest, his heart breaking for a man who had done nothing but love him unconditionally.

The rain tumbled down but neither Mac nor Harm noticed until Trish came out with an umbrella.

"You two will get sick staying out here in this," she called to them.

"I can't talk to her just now, Mac – sorry," he stood up, kissed Mac and moved to his mom. "I love you," he said before jogging out through the side gate and down the street.

Trish put her arm around Mac. "Is he alright, Sarah?"

"No he's not, Trish," Mac answered honestly, wrapping her arm around Trish's waist and heading back into the house.

"I've never seen him like this before," Trish said, surprised her son, who had spent the best part of his life denying his feelings, was so emotional.

"He's hurting badly; he's just lost his dad," Mac said quietly, briefly squeezing Trish. Trish nodded sadly. "And no boy should have to lose their dad three times," Mac added, knowing Harm's pain extended beyond Frank and to the loss of both fathers in vastly different circumstances.


	6. Chapter 6

Dedicated to all the fathers we love and those we have lost

Especially Andy, Sidney's Dad.

**Disclaimer: They're not mine…but the storyline is. Song's not mine either.  
Thanks for the great reviews – much appreciated.**

**Whitmore's Funeral Home  
Friday 1350**

Trish and Mac were sitting quietly in a small, dark waiting room alongside the chapel. Harm had gone to fetch some water for his mother and was taking his time returning.

"Do you think he's changed his mind about the eulogy, Sarah?" Trish asked, tears filling her eyes.

"No, he's probably just talking to someone," Mac replied squeezing Trish's hand and hoping she was right.

"Look who I found," Harm said opening the door. Bud, Harriet and Sturgis entered the small room and each embraced Trish, offering their sympathies.

Harriet then hugged Mac. "Hi Mac, how are you doing? Gee, I've missed you."

"I'm doing okay, Harriet, I've missed you too. Why didn't you call and let us know you were coming?" Mac said, still resting her hand on Trish's shoulder.

"We weren't sure if we could swing it. We didn't want to say we'd be here and then not make it. As it was there was a last minute hitch but the General came through for us and here we are," Sturgis answered.

"I really appreciate you guys being here," Harm said, embracing Harriet.

"Excuse me folks, it's time to begin," said a short, solemn man from the doorway.

Bud, Harriet and Sturgis took their seats a few rows from the back of the chapel whilst Mac sat with Harm and Trish in the front row. The service was one of thanksgiving for Frank's life and it was celebrated through music, prayer and words.

When the celebrant called Harm forward, he felt little of the nerves which had plagued him all day. His whispered something to his mom and walked to the lectern.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "thank you all for being here today. Knowing how much Frank was loved and respected by you all brings great comfort to my mother and me. As some of you would realise, I can often have trouble saying exactly how I feel. I become tongue – tied and self conscious and instead of telling the people I love that I love them, I keep it all here." Harm tapped his chest. "But life is too short and if Frank's passing has taught me anything it is to tell those people you love them while you can." He paused and smiled at his mom and Mac.

"I came upon this song by Keith Urban, and no I'm not going to sing it, I am going to read it. I have adapted it and I dedicate it to Frank Burnett, my dad.

_Lately I've been noticing  
I say the same things he used to say  
And I even find myself acting the very same way  
I tap my fingers on the table  
To the rhythm in my soul  
And I jingle the car keys  
When I'm ready to go  
When I look in the mirror  
He's right there in my eyes  
Staring back at me and I realize_

_The older I get  
The more I can see  
How much he loved my mother and me  
And he did the best that he could  
And I only hope when I have my own family  
That everyday I see  
A little more of my father in me_

_There were times I thought he was being  
Just a little bit hard on me  
But now I understand he was making me  
Become the man he knew that I could be  
In everything he ever did  
He always did with love  
And I'm proud today to say I'm his son  
When somebody says I hope I get to meet your dad  
I just smile and say you already have_

_He's in my eyes  
My heart, my soul  
My hands, my pride  
And when I feel alone  
And I think I can't go on  
I hear him saying "Son you'll be alright"  
Everything's going to be alright"  
Yes it is_

_The older I get  
The more I can see  
That he loved my mother and me  
And he did the best that he could  
And I only hope when I have my own family  
That everyday I see  
Oh I hope I see  
A little more of my father in me  
A little more of my father in me_

When Harm had concluded he wiped away the few tears remaining on his cheeks and made his way back to his pew. He embraced his mother and told her how much he loved her as the organist started playing My Way, Frank's favourite song. While the pallbearers moved forward, Harm embraced Mac. "This is not how I planned it but I love you so much Sarah and …" Mac put her finger to his lips.

"I love you too, Harm," she whispered before he moved away to carry the coffin from the chapel. Mac linked arms with Trish and they slowly followed the coffin down the aisle and to the waiting hearse.

**Burnett Residence  
Friday 2035**

It had been a very long day for all and whilst most of the mourners had gone home, Bud, Harriet and Sturgis remained. They were all sitting in the living room and Mac rested her head on Harm's shoulder, yawning wearily.

"Look," Sturgis said standing, "we should get going and let you people get some sleep."

"Where are you staying?" asked Trish.

"Um, well, no where yet but there's a Best Western down the road, I'm sure they'll have vacancies," said Bud, also standing.

"Nonsense," said Trish, "I won't hear of it. Bud and Harriet, you take the guestroom and Sturgis, there's a fold out bed in the study."

"That's very generous of you, Mrs Burnett, but…" Sturgis began.

"Generous nothing, we're an eclectic lot but we are family. I won't have you going to some motel."

Sturgis nodded and sat back down, he had learned long ago to do as he was told when it was Harm's mom doing the telling.

Supper and chatter ensued but Mac drifted off, oblivious to it all, the toll of the week finally catching up on her. Harm tried to wake her twice but when this was unsuccessful he scooped her up and carried her up to their bed. He felt uncomfortable undressing her, so he settled on removing her shoes and covering her with the quilt. He kissed her forehead and went to leave.

"Don't go," she whispered, reaching for his hand. He came back to her.

"Go back to sleep, Mac," he kissed her forehead again. She lifted the quilt and he slipped in beside her and held her closely.

"It's only 2115, it's too early for bed," she yawned.

"But you haven't had too much sleep this week." He kissed her lips.

"I need to go home tomorrow, Harm, I'll see if I can get a flight with the others," she said sadly.

Harm's faced dropped, he knew she would be going soon but he didn't want her go just yet. "But you're on leave for a few weeks, aren't you?"

"Afraid not, Flyboy, my leave's been put back to the end of the month." Mac said, raising her hand to caress his cheek.

"Why?" Harm asked confused.

"Because you're on leave," Mac said simply.

"Oh Mac, I'm sorry." And he was; he knew she'd been looking forward to this break and had already made plans.

"It's okay, babe, you're needed here. I don't mind. Anyway, maybe we can swing it to have some time off together, sort a few things out," she said quietly.

"Like what?" he asked worried, drawing her face up and staring at her.

"Oh, like the fact that you told me you loved me today," Mac replied smiling.

"Why does that need to be sorted?" Harm asked.

"Maybe not sorted as much as celebrated." She kissed him.

Harm leaned down and whispered sweet nothings to her but it soon became apparent she had fallen asleep again. He kissed her and made his way back to his guests.

-------------0----------------------0----------------------0--------------------------0----------------------------0------------

Author's notes:

One chapter to come :D

I made minor changes to the following song so it fit the story...I'm sure Keith won't mind.

Song For Dad Lyrics (Keith Urban)

Lately I've been noticing  
I say the same things he used to say  
And I even find myself acting the very same way  
I tap my fingers on the table  
To the rhythm in my soul  
And I jingle the car keys  
When I'm ready to go  
When I look in the mirror  
He's right there in my eyes  
Starin' back at me and I realize

The older I get  
The more I can see  
How much he loved my mother and my brother and me  
And he did the best that he could  
And I only hope when I have my own family  
That everyday I see  
A little more of my father in me

There were times I thought he was bein'  
Just a little bit hard on me  
But now I understand he was makin' me  
Become the man he knew that I could be  
In everything he ever did  
He always did with love  
And I'm proud today to say I'm his son  
When somebody says I hope I get to meet your dad  
I just smile and say you already have

The older I get  
The more I can see  
How much he loved my mother and my brother and me  
And he did the best that he could  
And I only hope when I have my own family  
That everyday I see  
A little more of my father in me

He's in my eyes  
My heart, my soul  
My hands, my pride  
And when I feel alone

And I think I can't go on  
I hear him sayin' "Son you'll be alright"  
Everything's gonna be alright"  
Yes it is

The older I get  
The more I can see  
That he loved my mother and my brother and me  
And he did the best that he could  
And I only hope when I have my own family  
That everyday I see  
Oh I hope I see  
I hope everyday I see  
A little more of my father in me

A little more of my father in me  
I hope everyday I see in me  
In me  
In me  
I hope everyday I see

A little more of my father in me


	7. Chapter 7

Dedicated to all the fathers we love and those we have lost

Especially Andy, Sidney's Dad.

**Disclaimer: They're not mine…but the storyline is. Song's not mine either.**

**Thanks for the great reviews – much appreciated.**

**Saturday 1135**

Mac awoke, scarcely believing the time, she could not remember having ever slept so well for so long before. Groggily she sat up and took in the empty room but she wasn't alone for very long.

"Hello Beautiful," Harm said, coming into the bedroom and finding her awake.

"Morning Harm," she smiled. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to sleep so long."

"That's okay," he said sitting alongside her in the bed. He wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

"And I'm sorry I have to go home today," she said, looking up at him sadly.

"Me too," he said before kissing her tenderly. "We're having lunch an early lunch because of your flight, so you need to get a move on."

Mac showered and dressed in record time and hurriedly made her way to the kitchen. Sturgis grabbed her arm as she passed by the study. "Wait Mac," he mouthed as he concluded his call. "Yes, that's right. Thanks." He ended the call and looked at Mac. "Hi, you and I are on the 1855 flight so you can slow down."

"I thought the flight was 1440," Mac said, confusion in her eyes.

"It was and Bud and Harriet are still on that flight but I couldn't get you on, so we're on the later one," Sturgis explained.

"Why did you change though? Didn't you have a seat?" Mac asked.

"I did but I rather you had someone to travel back with," Sturgis informed her.

"You are so sweet," Mac said kissing his cheek, "thanks."

After they waved Bud and Harriet off in their taxi after lunch, Sturgis and Harm went out the back to have a private conversation whilst Mac helped Trish in the kitchen. When the dishes were finished, Trish took Mac's two hands and held them tightly. "Sarah, thank you so much for everything this week, I have really appreciated having you here."

"I'm just so sorry it had to be under these circumstances. Are you going to be alright here?" Mac asked, rubbing her hand up and down Trish's arm.

"Yes, I think so dear, Harm can help me sort a few things out this week," she said, a sad smile on her face.

"If there's anything I can ever do for you or if you just want to talk, please call," Mac said. After just a week in this house Mac felt a closer connection to Trish than she could ever remember having with her own mom.

"I will, Sarah. Look, this probably goes without saying but as a mom I'll say it anyway, can you please look after Harm for me? I know you have and you will but I just need to know he'll be alright," Trish said, tears spilling over.

"I will take care of him, I promise," Mac smiled and embraced Trish before brushing the tears away.

Harm and Sturgis came back into the house at this moment.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yes son, it is," Trish smiled hugging Mac.

"I'm just going to up to pack," Mac said making her way upstairs. Harm followed soon after.

"Need a hand Mac?" he asked sitting on the bed.

"No, nearly done."

"Good, can we talk for a minute?" he asked sitting in the armchair and getting her to sit on his knee.

"Sure, what would you like to talk about?" Mac asked, gently tracing his cheek with the tips of her fingers.

"I just wanted to say thank you for being here this week. I don't know how I would have gotten through it without you." He reached up and took hold of her hand.

"I'm glad I could be here for you…" she began. "And I'm very glad you let me."

"And not just this time Mac, you were there in Russia too and I don't think I ever told you how much I appreciated that too." He squeezed her tightly.

"You're welcome - for both," she kissed his forehead twice.

"I have missed not having you around these last few months," he said quietly, as she rested her head on his.

"I've missed you too." She kissed him again.

"And I'm still so sorry about this," he said tenderly lifting her arm and kissing the brace.

"I know you are, Babe," she replied softly, praying one day she wouldn't be able to see the pain and guilt which was still so evident in his eyes.

"Is there anyway I can make it up to you?" he asked, searching her chocolate eyes, desperate to absolve himself.

Mac's eyes sparkled and the small smile on her lips soon spread to her whole face. "I'll think of something for when you get home," she said with a wink.

**Mac's Apartment**

**The following Friday 1938**

Mac had her weekend schedule down to the minute. Harm would be returning on Saturday at 1130 and she would pick him up from the airport - after that her time was his. This planned, Friday night, had to be spent running errands and doing housework, two things which were priorities given her extended absence. Mac stopped off to pick up some groceries before finally arriving home, exhausted but excited about the weekend ahead.

She opened her apartment door to find the lights on dim, soft music playing and the table set for an intimate dinner for two.

"Harm?" she called out, dropping her belongings inside the door.

"Hello Mac," he said appearing from the kitchen. She ran to him and hugged him tightly. She had never missed him as much as she had this last week. He kissed her tenderly.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming home early?" she said, her arms still fastened around his neck.

"I didn't want to ruin the surprise," Harm said before pulling her close once again.

"It's a nice surprise," she kissed him. "How's your mom?"

"She's doing okay," Harm replied, tears misting over his eyes. As desperate as he was to get back to DC and Mac he regretted deeply having to leave his mother alone in San Diego.

"Are you sure?" Mac asked, noting the sadness on his face.

"Yeah, I told her if it gets too lonely out there she can always move in with us after we get married," Harm said kissing her.

"That's a good idea," Mac mumbled into his mouth.

"Which part?" Harm asked, moving his head back slightly.

"That she moves in with us, it would be nice to have her around." Mac said, smiling. Having a mother who loved her would be a dream come true.

"What about the "after we were married" part?" Harm asked, a mix of expectation and worry on his face.

"That too," she smiled.

The doorbell rang signalling the arrival of dinner. When it was served, Harm raised his glass. "Here's to you, Sarah, I am so happy you are finally, officially in my life, I love you."

"I love you too, Harm. I'd like to propose a toast, if it's alright with you," Harm nodded. "To all the dads in our lives, those we have loved, those we have lost and those we didn't get to know, may they all rest in peace." Their glasses clinked and Frank, the man they knew, loved and respected, was remembered for the father he truly was.

_The End_

------------------------------------------------------Iloveharm---------------------------------------------

_**I'm in a bit of a quandry...I still have a few unposted JAG ffs and I don't know which way to go. They're pretty much all H&M - no surprise there. There are a few with a supernatural feel, a few which deal with illness and a few long ones. Any preference? I'm keeping all the Christmas ones until December! Maybe after that I'll write a new one.**_


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